Happy Easter!

 

 

 

"It's Friday. Jesus is praying. Peter's a sleeping. Judas is betraying.
But Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. Pilate's struggling. The council is conspiring. The crowd is vilifying. They don't even know that Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. The disciples are running like sheep without a shepherd.
Mary's crying. Peter is denying. But they don't know that Sunday's a comin'.

It's Friday. The Romans beat my Jesus. They robe Him in scarlet. They crown Him with thorns. But they don't know that Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. See Jesus walking to Calvary. His blood dripping. His body stumbling. And his spirit's burdened. But you see, it's only Friday.
Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. The world's winning. People are sinning. And evil's grinning.

It's Friday. The soldiers nail my Savior's hands to the cross. They nail my Savior's feet to the cross. And then they raise him up next to criminals.

It's Friday. But let me tell you something: Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. The disciples are questioning. What has happened to their King. And the Pharisees are celebrating that their scheming has been achieved. But they don't know: It's only Friday. Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. He's hanging on the cross feeling forsaken by His Father.
Left alone and dying. Can nobody save Him? Oooh, it's Friday. But Sunday's comin'.

It's Friday. The earth trembles. The sky grows dark. My King yields his spirit.

It's Friday. Hope is lost. Death has won. Sin has conquered. And Satan's just a laughing.

It's Friday. Jesus is buried. A soldier stands guard. And a rock is rolled into place.

But it's Friday. It is only Friday.

Sunday is a comin'."

"My name is Austin Thomas."

Today was my day off from work.  I took Austin in for his 1 year well check appointment with Dr. Her in Family Medicine.  He weighed 19 lbs. 11.7 oz. and his length was 2 feet 4.35 inches.  He is in the normal range for both his height and weight.  He also got 3 shots.  He cried when they poked him but got over it right after.  He has started doing a few more cute things lately.  He will point at the cupboard door that he is not supposed to open and shake his head back and forth and say no no no no.   He also sings "la la la la" all the time in a cute little baby voice.  I fed him some lasagna tonight and he ate almost an entire piece all mashed up of course.  I've tried to give him Sippy cups but most of the time he just carries them around and shakes them, every now and then he tips it back enough to get a little slug.  He loves to clean the floor with a towel.  It is really funny to watch him scoot around pushing the towel all over the kitchen floor.  My little floor cleaner.  The most amazing thing he did tonight was look up at me and say "Mom, my name is Austin Thomas."  Ha!

  

            

People are Amazing

People are amazing.  So many different personalities, opinions, talents and beauty.  It is such a miracle that we all start out as little bitty babies and grow up to be big adults who can function in a crazy but beautiful world.  Our creator must be pretty awesome.  I remember the first time I laid eyes on my first born child and at that moment I had a new comprehension of the word miracle.  As my children grow I am reminded every day of the miracle of life.  It is unfathomable in itself that a human life can grow in a mother's womb for 9 months.  It is even more unfathomable to think about the complexities of the human body that are designed so perfectly to create a person who is predestined by God to become part of existence.  Life is so unexpected sometimes.  We are walking around thinking we know exactly where we are going and within a moment everything takes another course.  I believe everything happens for a reason in life and sometimes the hard things are the things that take us where we otherwise would have never gone.  People are amazing.  All the horrible things that happen in this world and yet here we all are still trying to get through another day.  God sees the big picture and we see small pieces that make up the big picture.  One day we will be able to look back at our lives and see them how God sees them.  He is always looking out for us and wanting the best for us.  He is the perfect father and loves us perfectly, unconditionally and eternally.  It is marvelous to live life on a solid rock of assurance, knowing you are loved by a perfect God.  I am so thankful for the friends and family in my life.  I appreciate all the wonderful and unique qualities my family and friends have that bring happiness and color to my life.  Life is a blessing.    

Everything is a race

Life is busy.  It seems like you are always racing to get somewhere.  Racing to get the kids ready for the day, hurrying to get to work on time and rushing here and there and everywhere!  Sometimes there is no time to take a pit stop. 

Riley cracks me up.  Everything with him is a race.  "Mom I am going to beat you eating my chicken.  I am the winner in this arm wrestle.  I beat you in the staring contest.  I am the winner brushing my teeth and washing my hands the fastest."  SERIOUSLY, must everything be a race. Ha!  My favorite one that he told me tonight is "Mom, let's have a pee pee race."  Whoever pees the longest wins.  WOW!  Now that is something to remind him of when he is 18.  Riley is a bit of a sore loser but I am not one to talk.  When I was his age I had a screaming fit if I lost in the game Candy land.  It is possible he gets it from me.  Jason is competitive too.  Just think of the fun we have when all three of us play Candy land together!

    

Spiderman power

Yesterday was a great family day.  We took the kids to Wisconsin Dells to go to the Outlet Mall. We stopped at the Disney outlet store and found some good deals.  Found some Lightning McQueen rain boots for Riley and could not resist buying the cutest Spiderman Costume that was on sale.  It is adorable and Riley can wear it for Halloween this year.  He tried it on right away when he got home and then proceeded to run around the house shooting webs everywhere.  I love the costume but the only problem is Riley wants to wear it all hours of the day.  "Mom, can I wear my Spiderman costume to bed?  Can I wear it to Judy's?  Can I wear it outside?"  He has to check himself out in the mirror too because he thinks he looks sooooo cool.  Then I hear a loud noise and I go to check on him....he is punching the mirror because he has superhero spidy powers.  Time to take the costume off!   I guess he will get some good use out of his costume, hopefully it will make it to Halloween without any damage.

 

Gift of music

Just got back today from another awesome country music concert.  This time Kelly and I went to Jason Aldean, Jake Owen and Thomas Rhett.  It was so much fun.  My favorite song of the night was "Beer with Jesus" by Thomas Rhett.  I actually got a little choked up hearing it live.  I just think that song is so neat.  Some people might hear that song and think what a hypocritical song that is mixing beer with Jesus but that is one of the big reasons I like that song.  I don't consider myself a religious person but I do consider myself a Jesus person.  I love Jesus and I love living my life to the fullest always knowing Jesus sees it all.  We can't hide from him, we can run but we can't hide.  I just like songs that are down to earth and can relate to the common person in this crazy world that we live in.  I like that it provokes people to think about what you would say or ask Jesus if you could sit down and have a beer with him or a cup of coffee or in Sweet Brown's words a  "cold pop"!  That song gave me chills the first time I heard it on the radio and it was even better to hear it live.  Life is full of so many great things to make us happy.  One of my favorites is music.  Music, whatever type you like, has a special way to inspire, bring freedom, bring peace and allow you to get through hard times in your life.  Music is such a gift and I am eternally thankful for a God who created such musical talent and creativity in this world.

Another day in the life...

Last night was not a good night.  Riley's night light burnt out and he had a huge crying tantrum because he was afraid to go to sleep without his night light on!  Darn it!  I tried to think of a solution.  Searched the house for batteries to put in one of the Christmas angels that lights up.  Strike one!  No batteries in the house were strong enough to make the angel bright enough.  Then I tried putting my small lamp from my room behind his bookshelf in hopes it wouldn't be too bright.  Strike two!  The light was too much and Riley just wanted to play with all of his toys rather than go to bed.  Finally I remembered the baby monitor in Austin's room that we never use and I plugged that in for Riley.  Homerun!  At least he would then stay in his room.  I could hear him in there bouncing on his bed until 230 am and I finally moved out to the living room so I could get some sleep.  Needless to say I was tired this morning.  So was Riley.

Today started out like any other.  It seemed to drag on and on as I could not wait for it to be over.  Kelly and I are going to see a concert tomorrow night and I am so looking forward to it.  I was hoping for a low key night at the house tonight but there is no such thing.  Riley was extra spunky tonight and I was extra tired.  Good combination!  I spent the night watching parts of "The Incredible Hulk, Spiderman and the Rise of the Guardians.  Riley running around exclaiming "Hulk smash!"  He would pound his fist on me and say "Hulk Smash" over and over.  I told him I don't want to be hulk smashed and this just made hulk smashing me that much more fun!  Gotta love boys and there super hero powers!!!  Austin was able to feel the power of a hulk smash too.  He was not impressed and neither was I.  Poor Austin, he will learn to tap into his super hero power a lot younger than Riley ever did.

Bed time tonight is still in process.  Yes I am typing right now but in about 2 minutes I will be hearing footsteps and a voice saying "Mom?"  Riley is not in his bedtime groove tonight.  He would rather bounce in his bed or keep trying to come up with new ways to extend his bedtime.  I have to come up with new ways to keep him in his bed.  It is not always like this, I mean at least half of the time Riley goes to bed good.  He is a great kid but he likes to stretch his limits and especially with me.  He is so comical sometimes that it is hard not to laugh at him when he is naughty.  Hopefully he will grow up well.  We all hope to do the best by our children but a lot of the time we have no idea what the hell we are doing ourselves.  Parenting is a learn in process and sometimes you are not the perfect parent.  Sometimes you are happy just to make it through the day.  Sure there is a book out there for every little thing you can think of on parenting but ultimately we learn by doing it ourselves.   I don't always know what to do but I always try to do the best I can.  Thank goodness we can ask God for help in our lives and hope for his power to help us.  There is no such thing as a perfect parent, just as there is no such thing as a perfect child.  We are all a work in process.  Oh how I love to go off on tangents. blah blah blah

Anyways I better pack my stuff for tomorrow now and get some sleep.  Can't wait for tomorrow night!                 

Austin's first birthday party

We had a wonderful weekend.  On Saturday we went to Features for a Austin birthday party.  We just invited the grandparents and we had a surprise guest.  My sister surprised me and showed up too.  That was so nice that she came.  I dressed Austin in a cute cookie monster shirt with cookie monster shoes.  He looked adorable.  Riley wore a cookie monster shirt too.  We had pizza, beer and cookie monster cake for dessert.  Riley just could not wait to eat some cake and he was even more excited to open up all of Austin's birthday presents.  Austin took a little while before he started really digging into his cake.  I don't think he knew what to do at first but it didn't take too long to rub his hands in face in it.

 

 

 

 



 

 

 



I was able to hang out with my sister on Saturday.  It is always nice to get out every now and then.  I think it is so important as a mom to give yourself some time away every once and a while.   I appreciate my time for myself so much more now that I have kids.  I don't take any of my time for granted.



Jason, the kids and I went for a road trip on Sunday.  We drove to Eau Claire and went bumming around.  It was really nice getting out of the house and going somewhere together.  I never really care what we do together as a family I just always love doing things together and just being together.  We really didn't do anything special but we had a good time.

Last one to the couch is a rockin ehh!

Today was a good day.  I really didn't do much.  I mean I should rephrase that.  I did do a lot but I stayed home all day and did not embark upon any exciting adventures beyond the confines of my home.  Today Austin slept in until around 8 am and Riley slept in until 9am.  I am realizing that this is becoming a more regular thing and I am loving it.  I have learned to never bank on them sleeping in though because then they will be up BRIGHT AND EARLY the next morning.  I think now that it stays darker in the mornings the kids sleep longer.  Spring is on its way and I am ready!!!  Can't wait to be outside. 

Today I made Austin's birthday cake.  I made the easiest cake ever- COOKIE MONSTER.  It is really hard to screw up a cookie monster cake, blue shaggy looking frosting and cock eyed looking eyes is all it takes.  I used my Elmo pan that I already had for Riley's first birthday and it looks really cute.  I love sesame street. 

The other day Riley ran for the couch hollering "Last one to the couch is a rockin ehh!"  I replied, "What did you say?"  He repeated "Last one to the couch is a rockin ehh!"  "Ha!  That is what I thought you said!"  The things kids say, I love it!  I laughed a lot and told him the right way to say this "Last one to the couch is a ROTTEN EGG!"  Now today I hear him saying "Last one to pick up the toys is a rotten bonical."  He meant "barnacle".  They say that on a show he watches.  Speaking of eggs I just found out yesterday Riley LOVES hard boiled eggs. He ate 2 for breakfast yesterday and then begged me to make him 2 more to go with his supper.  I am glad he likes them that way because they are very good for him.  I wonder if 4 hard boiled eggs is a tad overkill in one day.  Possibly.  Oh well.  At least I know he is not allergic.  We meant to color Easter eggs last year with him but never got around to it.  Jason pulled the box out today and colored eggs with him.  Riley just loved doing that and he stayed fairly clean in the process which is a bonus.  I got cute pictures of his very first coloring eggs experience. Aren't I corny!

Jason finally tried to get some sleep at around 2pm after being up all night long.  I am sure it is tough to sleep during the day.  He didn't actually go to sleep until at least 330pm.  Third shift sucks and I hope and pray, someday (such a poet am I) that he will get a day job.  That sure would be the life.  Liv'in the dream!  Although then we would have to find something else to complain about.  It is always something.  After Jason went to sleep I spent the day with my two favorite and high energy children.  We did many things today to keep them entertained.  We made Easter artwork, played sock puppets and played race cars.  Riley  always wants me to crawl around on the floor with him for an exhausting amount of time on my hands and knees playing "race cars".  I just love when Riley says "Mom you aren't following the racetrack." (that apparently goes all over the house) "C'mon, keep going."  Riley has no concept of tired and no idea why mom does not like this game for more than about 10 minutes.  Well, someday when he is an old dad he may agree with me.  Austin does join in on the racing, he likes to imitate everything Riley does and it is too adorable.    Riley also helped me make the Cookie Monster cake.  Actually his help involved eating frosting out of the tube.  I try to give him healthy snacks most of the time and frosting is on the top of the list.  Maybe that is why he was running around pretending to be jumping on a trampoline.  He says "Mom, I am jumping on  a trampoline and we will get one tomorrow."  He is always saying tomorrow we will do this or that but he has no concept of the meaning of tomorrow.  Have you ever tried to explain the meaning of tomorrow to a child, it is very enlightening!  

Austin has a new thing he does these days.  If you say to him "Austin, go night night."  He will walk over to the couch or to a blanket and put his cute little face down and smile at us pretending to go night night.  He loves being chased too.  If you chase after him he will laugh hysterically.  He waves hello or goodbye and he points at things all the time.  He is a little food snatcher.  If you have it, he will come.  He ate some goldfish crackers today and just could not get enough of them.  Constantly wanting more.  He also LOVES mashed potatoes, unlike Riley who HATES them.  He is starting to pay attention to the T.V. more.  He will watch certain shows for a few minutes and seems very captivated and excited.  I love having Netflix it is sure handy when you have kids.  With Riley's 3 year old attention span we are constantly changing shows to find one that will keep him interested.  Also some of the shows are really educational which is a bonus. 

Now the kids are in bed and I suppose I should go to bed too.





     



             

Happy Birthday Austin!

Happy 1st Birthday Austin!

 

 

 

 

Today at 6:35 am, one year ago, Austin was born.  Hard to believe it has been a full year.  A year ago on this day it was 70 degrees outside!  I remember coming home from the hospital and it was hot outside.  We had all the windows open in the house.  Today it was about 30 degrees outside and all is covered in snow.  Just as the weather has changed so has my sweet baby boy.  I miss his little hands and little feet.  I miss his sweet baby faces that only newborns can make.  I miss his newborn smell.  I miss his newborn outfits and newborn shoes that he can never where again.  I miss his first smile, first laugh, first steps and I feel a little sad that he is growing up so fast.  There is nothing more precious than the innocence of a new baby.  From the moment Austin was born he has been treasured and cherished.  He is loved so very much and I can't imagine life without him.  God always had this precious gift just waiting for me and I feel so blessed and so thankful.

 

 



Mom's day out

I finally had a kid free day over the weekend.  It was a long time coming and it was AMAZING!  I had been kind of freaking out in a (overwhelmed mommy who needs a break) kind of way and I finally unloaded my wrath upon Jason.  To make a long story short Jason had the kids all to himself on Saturday and I left the house early and stayed gone until midnight!  In the words of Kenny Chesney:  Glory, Halleluiah, Good God almighty I never wanted nothing more!!! 
My mom and I drove to Rochester and went bumming around.  We had lunch at our favorite spot, Applebee's and met an ironic stranger.  I ordered a beer and our waiter asked for my I.D.  He noticed we were from Lacrosse and laughed saying his parents live in Lacrosse.  Turns out his parents live right across the street from my parents on Loomis street.  How completely coincidental.  After shopping around we decided to go to the Vogue and have a few drinks.  It was so nice to be gone all day long with no obligations or time to have to be home by.  The kids even slept in a little the next morning and I woke up feeling fresh and new despite the few drinks I had.  Austin woke up at 7am but went back to bed for a while after eating and Riley slept in until like 10 which never happens so that was nice.

When Riley woke up he says "Mom I was missin you."  He says the cutest things sometimes.  What a little sweet talker that boy can be.  He will talk your ear off sometimes.  He loves to be the center of attention.  The other day he was telling me about how him and his dad are going to go hunting in the woods.  He says he is going to shoot a bear and that he will protect me from the bears in the woods.  My mom and I told him he shouldn't shoot a bear because it could be a mommy or daddy bear and that wouldn't be very nice.  The first thing he remembered when we got home was how he wanted to go and tell his dad he can't shoot a bear because it could be a mommy or daddy bear.  Ha!  Jason said he would make sure it isn't a mommy or a daddy bear, that they would only shoot single lonely bears in the woods.  Riley says and "no baby bears either."  He is alright with shooting a lonely, single bear though.  Funny kid.  It is funny the things kids remember.  Riley is into a lot of things these days.  He likes "Super Hero Squad"  "Spiderman"  "Thomas the Train"  "Buzz Light Year"  Monster trucks and his all time favorite "Lightning McQueen".  He has about 15 Lightning McQueen cars and yet he always knows if one is missing.  It is hilarious but not so funny when you can't find the particular one he wants.  Riley is definitely all boy but he does save room for his sensitive side.  He also loves to watch "My Little Pony"  every now and then.  His favorite pony is "Rainbow Dash".  

Austin is still Mr. adorable!  He is a great walker now.  Sometimes he will crawl over and put his little face next to mine and just sit by me for a few minutes as if to say "I love you mommy".  He spends most of the day walking all over the house.  He is not afraid of anything.  He loves taking baths, listening to music, dancing, chasing after the cat,  playing the drums, reading books, pushing the T.V remote and eating.  He is good eater and always wants to share whatever it is we are eating.  He never wants to be left out.  He loves ice cream of course.  Next weekend he will get to have his very first birthday cake with ice cream.   We survived the first year of life.  I am so thankful for my brave, content and happy little baby Austin and my sweet talking, funny and spunky little boy Riley.  God must have created them just for us!

Funny thing that happened tonight when I got home from picking the kids up.  I was gathering all the stuff to bring into the house and I had my hands full carrying the baby and a bunch of other stuff.  Riley climbed into the front seat and was pushing all the buttons on my car that he could find.  He turned my hazards on and I could not for the life of me figure out how to turn them off.  I knew it was right in front of me and I have turned them off and on before but I could not remember how to get them off.  Kind of like when you spend 10 minutes looking for your keys and all the while you have them in your hands.  I felt like such an idiot!  The neighbor lady was yelling over trying to help my by instructing me where to find the button and I still couldn't find it.  I spent a long time trying to figure it out.    I called my dad to ask him but I finally found the button by myself.  It was in an obvious spot of course.  Only me!!!   

   

         



Just another day in the life...

Well today was a great 15 hour day.  I got up at 6am and fed Austin.  My sweet little man!  Then got my breastfeeding supplies ready for a day of pumping.  Off to work.  Worked in Orthopedics in the morning.  I single handedly roomed 52 patients all by my lonesome for 3 different providers using a total of 4 rooms.  Ha!  That was a long morning but I did enjoy the challenge.  Then after lunch I went to another busy department, Neurosciences, and enjoyed another busy afternoon. 

Then I arrived home about 5pm and sat looking out the window waiting for my sweet little ones to arrive.  It is always nice to see their faces.  Still the joy of seeing them fades when Riley starts with his first tantrum of the evening.  "Mom I wanted to give Nana a hug, kiss and squeeze goodbye!"  I reply "Sorry honey Nana has already said goodbye and she has left for the day, you will have to wait until next time."  Not the answer he was looking for so I get to listen to 15 more minutes of screaming and crying about this issue.  So excited!!!  Then I make supper, an easy night of chicken nuggets as that is what Riley wants and I am not in the mood to argue.  In the mean time he falls asleep on the couch just about when the chicken is done.  I GENTLY wake him to let him know his chicken is done and am greeted with the wrath of Riley.   I do finally get him to eat though and after supper we watch two episodes of "The wheels on the bus go round and round."  I just love that show. Note the sarcasm.  I will say Austin was so cute dancing to the songs though.  He just loves to dance.  After the wonderful entertainment I fed Austin some oatmeal that ended up all over me and all over him.  Then we had pajama time.  Riley spent 20 minutes fighting me saying "No mom it is not time for bed yet I want to keep my clothes on."  He ran around the house thinking this was a funny game that I was enjoying too.  I was not laughing.  After the kids finally got their pajamas on I fed Austin his bottle while I heard Riley in the bathroom going poddy and brushing his teeth, or so I thought.  Half way through the bottle feeding Riley comes running out yelling "Mom I want to be a rockstar!"  He was carrying the hair gel in his hand and it was open and all over his hands.  I went into the bathroom to find hair gel all over the sink.  I cleaned that up and returned to feeding Austin his bottle.  Finally got Austin down for  the night at about 8.  Then back to Riley.  I read Riley his cat in the hat book. I told him it is time for bed and although he protested tonight was a better night for him.  He did his normal , "I need water, I want a car, I need to go to the bathroom BUT surprisingly he went to bed after all that without much battling.  So that was my day today and now I shall see what tomorrow will bring.  Just another day in the life of SUPERMOM! 

Blog of Reality

Well I have decided to start chronicling my day to day activities for myself.  I feel exhausted.  I feel exhausted not just today but EVERY day.  I can't imagine why. Every day is a work day.  If I am not working my 8 hour shift at Gundersen I am working my shift at home.  Lots of people say you can't count your home duties or being a mom as work because it is the joy of your life.  Ha!  Although my kids are the joy of my life they are still hard work.

Today started out as usual.  Up at 530am to feed Austin.  After feeding him I got up and did my usual of gathering my breast feeding supplies for the day so they are ready for work.  Then I make sure Austin's pumped bottles are ready to go for the babysitter.  Then either me or Jason wakes up Riley to get him ready for the day.  Then it is out the door off to the babysitters for the day.  Riley usually wines and cries in the back seat because he wants more milk, or a different car or some damn thing that I am not going to be able to get for him as I am driving and then I get to listen to the beautiful noise of a three year olds wining.  Then once we arrive at Judy's I am hoping today will be a good day.  What I mean by this is that today Riley will walk like a good little boy all by himself into Judy's house and not have a temper tantrum about something.  I carry Austin in his "100 pound" car seat while racing Riley to the front door as this is sometimes the only way to motivate him to get from the car to Judy's front door.  This is if we are having a good day.  On a bad day I have to carry Austin into Judy's and then return for my kicking and screaming little boy and carry him in as well so I can make it to work on time.  Phew I am already tired and the day has just begun.  Then I arrive at work and drink some coffee to give myself energy for the day.  I work all day long and then go to my parents house to pick up the kids and cart the "100 pound" car seat with Riley out to the car to head on home.  Once I am home I try my best to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking my husband up whom may have not gotten any sleep during the day while we were away.  It is an impossible task to keep a baby and a three year old quiet and I am tired!  I spend the evening watching kid shows which none of them I am at all wanting to watch but hoping it will keep Riley's attention for at least 15 minutes so I can pick up the dirty house, make supper, do dishes and "God knows" what else.  Most of the time Riley does not watch the show anyway.  Not to mention Austin is roaming around picking everything up and putting it in his mouth and getting into everything he is not supposed to.  Most of the time I find it easier to just carry him around which makes everything else harder to do.  Then Riley runs around the house screaming and acting like a crazy 3 year old and I can't get him to settle no matter what I do. I have no idea how to discipline him and he won't listen to me.  Tonight I gave him a bath and after about 2 minutes I told him it was time to get out.  He proceeded to stay in the bath and on top of it jumped up and down splashing water all over the floor.  I am holding the baby telling him to stop and he won't listen, meanwhile I can see water all over the floor.  I go put Austin in his boppy and return to Riley to try to get him out of the tub and he has a temper tantrum about how he won't get out and it is a big fight that ends with me having to physically pick him up and take him out of the bath so I can return to Austin who is screaming in the other room.  Then I try to bribe Riley by offering him a treat so he will maybe sit down and watch a show so we can start mellowing out for bedtime.  Does not work he won't sit and he pulls out all of his toys all over and makes a mess.  I give up on cleaning the mess as I can't even control my children let alone clean the house. Then at around 745pm I give Austin his bottle and attempt to put him down to bed all the while hearing Riley jumping off the couch and throwing toys in the living room.  Finally Austin is down and I return to Riley for his bedtime.  It is a fight every night and he never will just listen to me and by this time I am at my wits end and I just want to scream.  Sometimes I can hear Jason downstairs mumble "Be quiet" or "come on I am trying to sleep".  Then at around 830 he comes upstairs and has a little talk with Riley and "ta da" Riley magically stays in bed.  Mom is a failure I guess. XBVGHX!!!!!!  It is maddening to spend all your waking moments with two children, taking care of their every waking need and never getting any reward for the things you do.  After all taking care of your kids is rewarding in itself, right?  The one break you have from your kids is at work.  What I wouldn't give to spend a few hours in my own home alone.  I can keep dreaming because that is not going to happen anytime soon.  Then after all you've tried to accomplish in one day it is even more maddening to have someone else criticize you for the way you did it and show you no compassion or appreciation.  I guess my reward for my daily labors comes from the one person who sees it all and that would be Jesus.  Ok back to bedtime with Riley.    I read a book but one is never enough.  After all of this I try to pick up the house and then I just go to bed.  Then the next day is the same thing, over and over and over.  On the weekend I never get a break either unless I leave the house for a few hours to go shopping with my mom or out for breakfast but it is usually never more than 4 or 5 hours and when I return it is a pigsty in the house.  I am the only one who cleans the house so that makes things much easier.  I get to pick up after everyone if I want a clean house.  In the midst of all of this day to day STRESS I try to keep the house clean which is a 2 hour a day job at least and way more when 2 kids are constantly pulling at you.  Man a girl feels like saying "I give up."

It is no wonder I feel psychotic sometimes.  Wouldn't any one else in my shoes start to feel overwhelmed and tired.  I am trying my best every day to do everything I have to do the best I can but sometimes it all just falls apart.  I am writing my daily duties to show myself that I am not lazy, I am not psycho and I am not a failure.  You only fail when you don't try and you can't say I don't try.  The next time I am feeling depressed, useless, and like a failure....... I can read everything I did in one day and realize I am SUPERWOMAN!  HEAR ME ROAR!!!         

Pictures to remember

Here are some pictures from my week.

I know I'm cute!

 

 



 

I know I'm cool.

Check out these moves!



Shall we dance?

My brother teaches me lots of things.

I just want to play with everything my brother plays with.